Rated: Unrated | Runtime 145 | AKA: Metropolis 1
"Blu" Ray Kawolski
Video Jerks Customer
G'day and welcome to our review.
Oh, do the thing.
Koo Looko koo koo koo koo Koo---koo looko koo koo koo koo koooooo
Ok, welcome to our review. Today's topic is, "movies" and we got a doozy for ya.
I wanted to watch "Horrible Bosses" but hosehead over here is trying to impress the girl with the nose ring who works at Video Jerks and rented "Fritz Lang's: Metropolis" off her 'favorites" shelf. Of course, he's such a panty waste; he doesn't even talk to her.
TAKE OFF! I did do.
Sure you did. This is my brother's talking to chicks. "Oh I, could you direct me to the adult diapers, I just made a 'boom-boom' in my pants'
Shut up. take off. That hasn't happened in years. Anyway, we rented "Fritz Lang's: Metropolis" and we took it home, but like our mom and dad were watching "George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight" so like we had to go out and watch it in our van.
Yeah we would have watched it in our van, but my brother, the idiot, picks up one of those blue rays, instead of a regular movie.
I didn't think it would matter. I thought like you could fix it. You got the grade eight science award.
I made a potato clock. This is different.
So like we went over to our friend Smitty's place, because he's got one of those blue rays. We knocked on his door and he said we couldn't come in until we brought him a six-pack.
Yeah, that was lame. He drinks our beer all the time. He still like owes us a propane canister for the Coleman. He's owes us a like a kilo of back-bacon.
So like, we head off to the beer store, but the transmission in my van has been giving me trouble.
Oh, do the sound.
My brother is like the Fred Travelena of car sounds.
So like we go to the beer store and we realize that it's like already closed, so we camp out overnight in the parking lot and wait for it too open. Good thing we keep some Molsons under the jump seat.
Yeah, good call. I think we drank too much and we feel asleep and the van got towed. We wake up and the van is in the impound lot. Luckily, the guy in the impound lot had a blue ray player and some more Molsons.
We watched some of "Metropolis" but it was boring, so we just watched "Slapshot" again.
On March 5th, 2012, "Blu" Ray Kawolski was struck in the head by a McIntosh surround sound receiver and suffered brain damage. Ray is now convinced that he is both "Bob and Doug McKenzie" from the TV program, "SCTV" and the movie "Strange Brew" (both available for rental at Video Jerks). The whole Video Jerks family wishes him a speedy recovery.